


We'll Find a Way

by Lurkinginthecorner



Series: Dancing With Fire [2]
Category: Hunger Games (2012) RPF, Josh Hutcherson - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, jennifer lawrence - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 15:28:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lurkinginthecorner/pseuds/Lurkinginthecorner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Jennifer face together the harsh consequences of their reckless night in Cannes, unknowingly setting themselves on the path to the freedom they crave so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a sequel to my Cannes-inspired fic Dancing with Fire. It turned out to be too long for a one-shot, so I'm splitting it into parts, but it should still be a relatively short one.

**Josh’s POV**

This is the first time she’s looked peaceful in the last few days.

She sits curled up against me on the couch of our shared hotel suite in Berlin, head resting on my shoulder, arms locked possessively around my torso. I can feel her regular breath tickle the small area of skin that’s exposed by the collar of my henley shirt. There’s a tiny hint of a contented smile on her lips. I stare at her sleeping face, mesmerized, while a thousand memories of that magical night we spent together in Cannes go through my mind.

I allow myself to forget just for this moment that it got us in trouble. In deep, deep trouble.

She stirs a little on my chest, her mouth gently brushing my neck. I drop a kiss on the top of her head, and I feel her eyelashes caress my skin as her eyes flutter open.

“They’re gonna be here soon,” I whisper, and she straightens up enough to gaze at me, her sleepy eyes barely staying open.

“No matter what they say, you will fight, right?” she asks, and I nod.

“We’ll do what we have to do. But breaking up is not an option. And they’ll have to deal with it.” I lean down and softly kiss her lips. “I won’t back down,” I add in a low voice.

“I won’t either. We’ll do whatever it takes. But I’m not gonna let them take you away from me.”

I look up, a wave of sadness hitting me, and hold her tightly. The last few days have been a purgatory of sorts for us. After a reporter caught us acting like the young couple in love that we are at the parties in Cannes and wrote a paper about our behavior, our teams had to plan a strategy to keep everyone’s image safe, from mine and Jennifer’s, to Nick’s and Claudia’s, taking into account the perspective of all the studios and producers involved in the different projects we have to promote in the next few months. This was no ordinary task, and they allowed us a few days to rest while we moved to Berlin for the last stint of filming _Mockingjay_ and they figured out how they would get us out of this mess we created ourselves with our own insouciance.

And today, they’ve scheduled us a meeting that I can only imagine will be very unpleasant.

“I hope you don’t feel guilty anymore for what happened,” I say as she drops feather-light kisses along the side of my jaw.

“A little bit,” she admits.

“Jen...” I sigh.

“I know. We’re both responsible.”

“And we’ll get out of this shit. I promise. It was worth it. So worth it.”

I barely have time to cup Jen’s face and press my lips against hers before there’s an annoying knock on the door. We exchange a nervous smile before disentangling ourselves to walk up to the door, greeting both our publicists, along with our moms.

“Hey guys!” Melissa almost shouts in an overly excited tone, walking past us to drop her briefcase on the dining table. Jen’s mom hugs us one after the other, and my mom takes the time to put down her large coffee cup on the table before doing the same. Liz quickly follows Melissa’s suit, and they both get their laptops out, along with tablets and styluses.

“I think everyone’s in a hurry to get over this,” I chuckle darkly. Jen circles my waist, dropping her head in the crook of my shoulder.

She’s already sending them a message. No matter what we do, you can’t force us to separate. It’s the only move that’s totally out of the question.

I love it.

“Yeah, we have lots to discuss,” Melissa says, her attention fully focused on her laptop. “Sit.”

Jennifer and I sit next to each other, while our moms pick the chairs at each end of the table. Liz and Melissa are facing us, Liz ready to scribble notes on her iPad while Melissa checks things on her computer. They look pretty well organized.

I exchange a tense look with Jen, and she grasps my hand tightly.

“So,” she asks. “Is it hopeless?”

“Oh, no,” Liz smiles. “It’s never hopeless.”

“Okay,” I say. “Then, what’s the plan?”

“Okay, first of all, the good news is that we managed to keep the whole party story mostly under wraps,” Melissa explains, staring at me right in the eye. “We made deals for your sake. The rags won’t talk about it, and we promised exclusives to other outlets in exchange for their silence. It also helped that the _Vulture_ story was better received than we expected. The focus has been mostly on the hiccup story and the rape joke part.”

I can’t help the large smile forming on my face.

“So we’re safe?” I ask in a hopeful tone.

Liz responds with a sad smile and a slight shake of the head.

“Not exactly,” she says. “A good portion of the fanbase literally jumped on that article. It doesn’t help that the reporter told them everything was factual.” She heaves a deep sigh, before grabbing her stylus and making it twirl on the table distractedly. “And I spoke with Nick’s publicist. He’s furious that it makes it look like he got cheated on.”

Jen looks down, deeply lost in her thoughts. I stroke the back of her hand gently, urging her to share with everyone what’s on her mind. She exchanges a quick look with her mom, who’s studying her with her usual comforting expression. I wonder if Jen’s recalling her initial reaction at the news – she had hopped on the first plane bound for Europe to scold her daughter for giving me a lap dance in public, before we told her the whole story and our publicists reassured her that we’d find a way to minimize the damage – and how much it had hurt her in the last couple of days.

“Does that mean he’s willing to end the charade now?” she finally lets out, raising her hopeful gaze to look at the two publicists.

“Almost,” Liz says. “You should be seen with him one last time. You’re off work next weekend, and it’s _X-Men_ ’s opening weekend, so you’ll make a short trip to Cologne to visit him. You’ll get papped going to dinner with him, we’ll leak accounts that you visited his movie set, and that’ll be it. And then, we’ll let a few weeks pass before we announce the breakup. He has already agreed to this. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“I guess that’s the best I could hope for,” she looks at me, a relieved smile lighting up her whole face.

“What about Claudia?” I ask Melissa, and she shakes her head.

“It’s... not as easy,” she starts. My heart tightens in my chest. “You still haven’t held your end of the agreement. She needs the promotion you were supposed to bring her when your movie comes out.”

“But if it looks like Jen cheated on Nick, then how does it look for Claudia?” I say. “Surely she doesn’t want people to think she got cheated on by her boyfriend.”

Liz and Melissa share a loaded look. A look I don’t like at all.

“We think the best solution is to keep it going, as it was supposed to, until _Paradise Lost_ premieres,” Melissa says. “Nick didn’t want to take the risk to be involved in a cheating scandal if you ever get caught or the details of your night in Cannes come out. Claudia is different. She doesn’t have anything to lose. And if you act like a loving boyfriend towards her...”

I feel my jaw clench of its own volition. Jen tightens her hold on my hand, almost to the point of pain.

“What does it mean?” I ask with gritted teeth.

“It means the fact that you’re not on the shooting schedule for a while is a blessing.”

I don’t need her to spell it out for me. I’m condemned to exile in Spain for a long, long time.

I look down in defeat, nodding lightly. My mom rubs my arm.

“You have no choice, Josh,” she whispers. “But it could have been worse.”

When she first set foot in Berlin, I had shared with her my fears that I might be forced to break up with Jen. I know it could be much, much worse. But that unplanned trip makes my insides churn.

“There’s barely one month left of filming,” I say in a low voice. “How long do I have to stay there?”

Melissa sighs.

“Long enough to make it clear where your heart is supposed to lie.”

I can’t stand it anymore. Without another word, I leave the table and sprint to the bathroom, where I let my body slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor, taking my face in my hands and letting go of the tears burning my eyes. After a minute or so, I hear the door open and close softly, and feel Jennifer sit next to me on the floor, pulling me into her side.

“I’m not mad at you for what happened,” I whisper. “I want to make sure you know that.”

“I know. Josh, I know.”

We both stay silent for a moment. I try to focus on the comfort of her embrace, to forget my frustration at the situation, but it’s useless.

“I had the next two weeks or so off filming,” I let out in a sigh. “I don’t want to leave you and everyone for two weeks...”

“I know. It’s so unfair.” She pauses, resting her head against mine. “I wish I could go with you. You’d go out with her once a day, and we’d spend the rest of the time together in your hotel room.”

“Yeah. But you have to work. And visit your _boyfriend_.” The word feels sour on my tongue.

“We’re gonna make it. We went through harder stuff in the past, right?”

I smile sadly when I recall how hard it was to see her pretend to be so in love with Nick all throughout the last awards season. She invited one of her best friends as her official date to the Oscars after she realized how upset I was, but it didn’t help things much. It only made me more disappointed to be unable to be the one standing by her side for such an important moment of her life.

So she’s right. That stay is a piece of cake in comparison. And the reward – Jen being free of the charade with Nick – will be worth it. I nod and stand up, giving a hand to Jen to help her up.

“Okay. Let’s go back and get this over with.”

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting is pretty much over as soon as I agree to leave Berlin tomorrow for a 10-day stay in Madrid. I will be on my own most of the time, as Claudia is working on her play almost every day, but it’s better than the alternative. I get along well with her, but the perspective of spending whole days with her for over a week doesn’t enchant me at all. Jennifer promises that we’ll keep in touch as much as we can, Facetiming as often as possible, even when she’s on set.

I also agree to keep pretending to date Claudia until the movie comes out, even though I secretly hope I’ll manage to convince her to let it go. If it could work with Nick, why couldn’t it with her?

My mom invites me for dinner after Liz and Melissa leave the room - with Melissa promising to drop me a call tomorrow to discuss what I’ll have to do in Madrid - but I turn her down right away. I need to spend my last night with Jen, and it starts by sharing a meal alone with her. We order room service and I take a shower while we wait for the delivery. When I get out of the bathroom, having slipped on my favorite pair of jeans, I find Jen sitting on the couch in the living room and typing a text message on her phone.

“Melissa called,” she says, her eyes not leaving the screen even for a second. “Your plane is at 10 am tomorrow morning. There’ll be a car waiting for you at 8 at the back entrance of the hotel.”

“Great,” I say with no enthusiasm, before putting on a white t-shirt and leaning over the back of the couch to kiss her neck.

“Have you even spoken to her since... you know?”

She doesn’t even need to finish her sentence. I circle the couch to sit next to her and sigh.

“No. I’m a coward. I was stupidly hoping she wouldn’t find out about the article. I just hope... her mom doesn’t know.”

She nods, a shy smile on her face. There’s a knock on the door, and I walk up to let the employee in with the cart carrying our plates. He sets the plates on the dining table next to the window and pours two glasses of red wine before leaving with a silent nod. As soon as he’s out, Jen joins me for a hug, snaking her arms around my torso and pressing her chest against my back. I close my eyes and cover her hands with mine.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, my love,” she whispers in my ear.

“I don’t want to think about this now.”

I crane my neck to see her, and she nods, kissing me softly before taking her seat across from me at the table. We both remove the cover over our plates at the same time and the excited look on her face when she takes in her food – steak and garnished potatoes, with asparagus – is enough to make me feel warm. It helps me forget this is our last dinner together for a while.

We start eating in silence – or with only her moans of pleasure breaking it from time to time as she shoves bite after bite into her mouth – neither of us knowing how to deal with the apprehension of our imminent separation. For once, there’s no joking around to break the tension. There’s only a heavy feeling of sadness hanging between us. I catch a glimpse of her eyes once in a while, and we exchange small smiles, but I can see she’s as upset as I am.

“Hey,” I say, finally grabbing her hand over the table. “It’s just a few days. Just enough to give you a break of me so I don’t get on your nerves. It’ll all be good.”

She looks down with a grin.

“I know.” Her eyes dart back up at me. “Still. You could spend day and night with me non-stop for weeks and I’d never get tired of you. I swear.”

I lift an eyebrow.

“We gotta test that one day, you know.”

She chuckles.

“Yeah. Maybe this summer? I want to take a big break.”

“Maybe.”

I bite my lip. Her smile falls.

“Oh... I guess you’ll have to go out with her in LA, right?”

I shrug.

“I don’t know. We’ll see. But I want to spend as much time with you as I can when we get back home. I know we’ll be together for promotion but after that, you’ll leave for filming and I won’t see you as much. Especially...”

I stop in the middle of my sentence. My train of thoughts suddenly makes me want to punch a wall. She frowns in confusion, and I sigh.

“Especially...?”

“Especially if we have to keep hiding much longer and we can’t go out together.”

We lock eyes. She looks contemplative for a moment, as if she was trying to figure something out. When she starts to speak, it’s in an unusually serious voice.

“After I’m done with Nick, and you’re done with Claudia, there shouldn’t be any more reason to hide. There’s the paparazzi, but we know how to avoid them most of the time, it’s not that big of a problem anymore. There’s just...” She pauses, biting her lip while looking down in shame. I tighten my grip on her hand to encourage her to keep going. She looks up at me with a sad expression marking her features. “I don’t want to overshadow your career, Josh. You know that if we date publicly, that’s all they’ll be interested into. They won’t ever refer to you as Josh Hutcherson anymore. You’ll be ‘JLaw’s boyfriend’. I want the best for you, honey. I don’t want the bastards to destroy your career-”

“I don’t care,” I cut her off, trying to convey to her with my eyes how much she means to me. I entwine my fingers with her, caressing her skin tenderly. “Who cares about the media, really? I can convince producers and directors to hire me. They don’t give a fuck who I’m dating. They’re the ones who matter. Don’t you think?”

She stares at me for a moment, before nodding lightly.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“Then it’s all good,” I smile. “Hold on a little longer. Then we’ll be free.”

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, Jen decides to take a bath to relax a little bit. Meanwhile, I get ready for sleep, taking off all my clothes and putting on a simple pair of boxers. Then, I sit on an armchair and flip through the TV channels, looking for something – anything – in English. I settle on a movie, to which I barely pay attention as I grab my cellphone and start playing a game at the same time.

“See something interesting?”

I look up at the sound of her husky voice, and almost do a double-take. She’s standing there, at the other end of the room, wearing her thick bathrobe and a seductive smile on her plump lips. She strolls up to me, while slowly undoing the knot of her belt and parting the sides of the robe to reveal her naked body underneath. I take a deep breath and wiggle on my seat when she stops in front of me. She gets rid of the robe in one swift movement, and tantalizingly climbs on my lap, rubbing her bare center against my hardening cock through the fabric of my boxers.

“You thought I’d let you go without giving you something to remember me by?” she whispers in a sexy voice, her mouth on my ear making me shudder with desire.

“I wasn’t thinking anything,” I murmur, wrapping my arms around her back, my fingertips gently caressing her soft skin.

“Only think of me.” Her lips travel to my neck, sucking on my pulse point – her favorite spot – while she lets her hands wander through the expanse of my chest. “Only think of us.”

I swallow down thickly, feeling my dick harden with every word she whispers, every inch of skin she brushes with her fingers, every sway of her hips on my lap. I bury my face into her shoulder, peppering her collarbone with kisses that make her exhale loudly in response. My hands travel down to her butt, which I cup to pull her as close to me as I can. I need to feel her melt into me, hold her as tightly as I can, to remind her she’s the only one I love. That despite whatever I’ll have to pretend to have with Claudia, my heart is hers, and only hers.

“Mmmmm... Kiss me, baby,” I murmur, pulling my head back from her neck so I can offer her my lips. She’s quick to oblige, her mouth capturing mine possessively until I let her in. I savour the sweet taste of her lips, the softness of her tongue gently brushing mine as she pushes her body even closer to my own, her hands sliding back up to cup my face.

Then, without a word, she slides off my lap and stands up, stark naked, staring me down as she lets me marvel at her curves thoroughly. Somehow, I find myself drinking her in as if it was the first time I saw her nude. She gives me a wicked smile, and I immediately catch the message, springing up from my seat to join her before quickly shedding my last piece of clothing. She turns around, rubbing her ass on my dick teasingly, and I let my hand travel down the side of her ribcage until I reach the apex of her thighs. My fingers wander to her sensitive bud, and I start to caress it gently, spreading some of her wetness on it. I cradle her body with my own, feeling my erection poke more insistently against her butt, and she leans her head backwards on my shoulder, as if to invite me to explore her neck. I suck on her flesh greedily, and she breathes out hard, as if she was trying to keep the sounds she’s making under control.

“Don’t hold back... I love to hear you moan,” I whisper as I nibble on her ear. “You’re making me crazy.”

With my other hand, I palm one of her breasts and rub the bud gently while my mouth descends on her neck and I suck on her skin again. She moans lightly, before stretching her arm backwards to grab a hold of my cock. She pumps it a few times, increasing her hold on it, just the way she knows I like it.

“Fuck, Jen...” I sigh, before pressing harder on her clit. “Fuck...”

I close my eyes for a moment, focusing on her reactions to my caresses instead of the effect her stroking of my cock has on me. She starts shaking, and I know she’s getting close.

“Come here,” I say, pulling her towards the bed. She lies down on her back, legs spread out to welcome me, and I don’t dwell on her appearance much longer before joining her. She quickly wraps her arms around my neck, and I lean down to kiss her softly.

“I want you to see my face,” she commands. “I want you to see me, and remember me.”

I kiss her again, and sigh.

“How could I ever forget you. You’re so silly sometimes.”

I gaze into her eyes for a moment, willing her face to stay etched in my mind until I can see her again. She smiles at me, and I finally push into her slowly, my eyes not leaving hers even for one second. She hooks her legs around my waist and I begin thrusting, quickly picking up a rhythm that has her whimpering beneath me. I feel her fingers play with my hair, massaging my scalp, and I struggle to hold on as the pleasure builds way too fast. I slow down, straighten up just enough to slide an arm between our bodies and rub her clit in time with my thrusts. Her breathing gets shallow, and she finally closes her eyes, looking like she’s lost in another world.

“Oh yes, Josh... faster... Oh my God...”

I grin wider, and increase my pace as she opens her eyes and stares at me again. Pearls of sweat dribble down my temple, tickling my skin, but I’m so focused on the tingles I feel in my groin as I get closer to climax, I barely notice it. Jen slides her arms across my shoulders and pulls me to her so she can press her lips against mine, and it’s enough to send me over the edge.

“I’m so close,” she whispers as I push deeper, my cock pulsing with my release. I increase the pressure on her clit, trying to muster the strength to thrust a few more times inside her, and then I feel her walls close in on me, as her body shudders with pleasure under me. We exchange a sweet smile, and she lets out a huge breath. I kiss her softly and pull out, getting up from the bed.

“Hold on,” I say, motioning for her to stay in bed while I walk to the bathroom. I clean myself up and pick up a washcloth, soaking it with warm water. For a second, I stare at myself in the mirror, taking in my flushed expression and my disheveled hair, and I smile. I’m glad we’re making the most out of our last night together for what is sure to feel like forever. We’re not used to spending that much time apart anymore.

I grab a dry towel and walk back to the bedroom. Jen is still lying in the middle of the bed, her hands crossed over her flat tummy. I sit next to her and begin to carefully rub the wet washcloth over the inside of her thighs, all the way up to her private parts, cleaning her of the evidence of our coupling. When I’m done, I wipe her skin with the dry towel, my eyes focused on her curious look.

“I could do it myself, you know,” she smiles. “I’m kinda feeling like the three-year-old calling mommy to wipe her ass after she pooped.”

I chuckle.

“Don’t you find it more sensual when I’m doing it?”

She winks, before letting out a chuckle.

“Oh, infinitely more sensual. Sexy dude.”

She wraps an arm around my neck to pull me to her, giving me a light kiss.

“I’ll be right back.”

I literally throw the used towels in the bathroom and rush back into the bedroom, sliding next to her under the covers. She snuggles into my side, distractedly tracing the lines of the anchor tattoo adorning my chest. I know she’s got something on her mind. I have, too, but I don’t want to ruin our good vibe.

“Will you have to show PDA with her?” she finally asks, her fingers traveling to the patch of hair in the middle of my chest.

“Probably not. She’s very busy with her play, so we’ll barely see each other anyway. I’ll just need to be seen with her a few times, take a few pictures with the fans, stuff like that.”

“And it’ll be enough? Josh, there must be a ton of people who figured out that we’re together now that I messed up-“

“Shhhh,” I interrupt her as her voice begins to crack, before gently kissing the top of her head. I feel wetness drop on my skin. “Don’t cry, hun. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this. We always have.”

“What if you need to be more convincing? What if she asks you to?”

“She won’t. She respects our relationship, Jen. And if we have to kiss or whatever, you know it’ll be acting. Just like you did at the Golden Globes. You think it was easy for me to see you kiss him in front of everyone like that?”

“No, of course not. I never thought that.”

“Then it’s the same. But I’m sure it won’t happen. She’ll be too busy anyway. Don’t worry about that.”

She looks up and nods.

“Okay.”

She stretches up to kiss me, before curling up into my side again.

“I’m so selfish,” she breathes out. “I want you just for myself.”

“You’re not selfish.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder, grabbing her hand with my own. “I love you,” I whisper, before dropping a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

I have to say goodbye to Jen in our hotel room. After sleeping on it for the night, I’ve made peace with my irritation at having to take this trip and chosen to focus on the fact that I’ll be back soon, and then I’ll be able to enjoy my last few days in Berlin with the rest of the cast and crew to the fullest.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t still sting a little bit, though. It will take some time for the frustration to go away, especially as I keep thinking that I’ll still be stuck in this charade for months to come.

On the plane, I try to empty my mind of all displeasing thoughts, from my longing for Jennifer to the disappointment at missing some precious moments with my _Hunger Games_ family, or from Jen’s mom’s disapproval of our actions the other night to Claudia’s possible reaction upon learning the news.

I close my eyes, music blasting in my headphones, not paying any attention to what’s going on near me.

Until the song comes up randomly on my IPod.

The words dance on the screen as I stare at them, a ton of images surging in my head.

MISSY ELLIOT – WORK IT

With a sigh, I tap the “next” button. Now is not the time to recall the dark corners of the VIP room in Cannes, Jen’s perfect ass twerking above me, or the warm feeling of her breath tickling my skin. For one moment, we let our guard down, and we almost provoked a scandal.

I really hope Claudia will be willing to end our fake relationship soon. I see my summer break coming, the opportunity of finally getting to go out with Jen almost like a real couple would, but after the disaster that happened last weekend, it’s pretty obvious that we can’t afford to take any more risks.

At least, we can always spend our time hidden in my treehouse. It’s better than nothing, even though it would suck not being able to go on any sort of date with that woman I love so much. I feel conflicted, sometimes. Because I know I want the nature of our relationship to stay private so as not to attract too much public attention on us, but at the same time, my heart is so full of love for her, I wish I could scream it to the world and pepper her with adoration, no matter where we are or who is watching us.

It’s a blessing that she knows me so well, I only need to give her a simple look, a bright smile, and she immediately understands my unspoken words. That silent language we’ve perfected over the years is part of the reason our bond is so strong, and why I know she’s the one for me. Hopefully she thinks the same about me – but she’s always adamant that we’re constantly on the same page, so I’m not worried about that.

As I stare at the sky, my thoughts drift to Claudia, despite my desire to avoid it. Ever since we stopped trying to make happen a relationship that wouldn’t happen, we’ve been playing a simple game of PR, in which she got good publicity while Jennifer and I got a solid cover for our secret romance. She’s always played along fairly, since it was a win-win situation for everybody. She probably won’t mind that much what happened, but I still can’t help but feel nervous.

And guilty, there’s a little bit of that too. Because she’s been nothing but nice to me from the beginning; I would hate for her to be upset over being possibly involved in a scandal that could hurt her image in any way.

I eventually fall asleep, waking up right before the plane lands in Madrid. At the airport, there’s a car waiting to pick me up and carry me to the hotel. Even back in the day, when my relationship with Claudia went a little beyond a regular friendship, I would stay at this hotel rather than in her small apartment, mostly for privacy reasons – the perspective of spending the weekend with her roommate wasn’t appealing to either of us, the roommate included. I obviously kept the habit once we reverted to being simple friends. So that hotel is quite a familiar place for me.

But even though it’s not my first time here, something feels different. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t help but wonder, every time I see anyone anywhere, if that particular person has read the article and now knows about my relationship with Jen. I try not to get paranoid, but it’s hard, especially when I cross paths with people my age who stop me with large, almost knowing grins and ask me to pose for a picture with them.

Soon, I find myself alone in the hotel room I’ll be living in for the next ten days, staring through the window at the city below, arms crossed. After a moment, my phone buzzes with an incoming text. I smile at the thought that it might be Jennifer, but my face falls when I see the ID of the actual sender.

CLAUDIA: Still at the same hotel?

My heart beats faster. All the stress I was feeling on the plane comes back in full force at the reminder that I’ll have to face her soon.

JOSH: Yes. Same room as last time. You’re on break?

CLAUDIA: Yes. I’m finished in an hour.

JOSH: Do you want me to pick you up?

CLAUDIA: No. I know the way.

I swallow thickly. She’s never been very chatty over texting, but I have a bad feeling about this. I consider insisting to walk with her, but in the end, I decide it might be better not.

I drop onto the armchair next to the window and look for Jennifer’s name in my contacts.

JOSH: I made it to Madrid in one piece. I already miss you. 9 more nights before we meet again.

I don’t expect her to answer right away, since I know she’s filming today. But surprisingly, her reply comes in quickly.

JENNIFER: I tried to convince Liz to let me go to Madrid instead of Cologne this weekend but she didn’t want to, boo. So I’m still in timeout for the weekend. Miss your silly face. Love you so much hun.

I smile sadly at her words.

JOSH: At least you’ll be free after. Hopefully I can say the same soon. Love you too. Call me tonight when you wrap?

JENNIFER: Aren’t you going on a “date”?

I chuckle at her use of quotation marks, before typing my answer.

JOSH: Not tonight. She’s working.

JENNIFER: So are you. We’ll be fine.

She’s right. It’s easier when I think about this as being part of my job. I’m doing promotion for Claudia, for our movie, and for my public image.

It’s just a business trip, after all.

That doesn’t make me miss her any less, though.

I set my phone on the table and get up, pacing the room as I look for something to do while I wait for Claudia to meet me here after her daily rehearsal is over. I think of going for a walk around the hotel, but I know I’ll have to be seen out with Claudia soon and after having experienced too many judging stares from strangers already today, I figure it’s not a good idea. It’s better to stay in my little private haven, where I don’t need to worry that someone will ask me how come I let my “best friend” give me a lap dance while I’m dating one of their own. Claudia isn’t really well-known here in Spain, but she’s still more famous in the center of Madrid than anywhere else in the world, and the chance that I encounter a fan here who would both know about the article and my supposed dating life is too great for my liking.

So in the end, I go for a shower, and once I’m dressed back up, I settle to play games on my phone to pass the time.

I almost don’t hear the knock on the door.

I remain on my seat for a moment, dazed, before the person knocks again and I realize I haven’t dreamed it. I slip my phone in my pocket and walk to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. She quickly slips in past me, and as soon as the door closes behind me, she turns around.

And that’s when her hand comes in contact with my cheek, real hard.

I look down, instantly covering with my hand the tender skin she’s just slapped, avoiding her furious stare.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she yells, gesticulating with every word. Dejected, I finally look up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you have ANY idea how I found out, Josh? My mom. My mom called me to tell me my fucking boyfriend was cheating on me!”

“We should have been more discreet, I know. I’m sorry you got in a difficult position with your family because of us. You’ve been nothing but understanding from the beginning... you didn’t deserve that. Is your mom the only one who knows?”

She walks to the bed and sits down, her eyes averting mine.

“I think, yes,” she says. “I explained all about our arrangement to her. She doesn’t understand how it works. She doesn’t understand why we’re pretending.”

She pauses.

“She thinks you’re abusing me.”

If I felt sorry when she entered the room, now I can feel the blood warm up hotter in my veins with every passing second.

“Are you kidding me?” I shout, planting myself in front of her. “I’m abusing you? Really? You got two paid trips to the US – with extras. You got a vacation trip to Paris. Lots and lots of exposure because when people search for my name on the internet, yours usually pops up as well. Did you tell her that too? And, you know, what do I get out of it? Being called a cheater for daring to share a fucking dance with my true girlfriend!”

I keep walking to the window, leaning forward to rest my forehead on my arm. I stay silent for a moment, letting my words sink in, before turning around to face her. She looks stunned. I sigh.

“Look,” I start, lowering my voice. “I know I’m getting something out of this too. It’s convenient that reporters, well, most of them anyway, don’t think of matching me with Jen because you’re there. But let’s be honest. You’re getting much more out of this than I ever will-“

“You’re right,” she says, her tone still icy. “But now that your girlfriend acted so stupidly and people think you cheated on me, you’re gonna need me, no? You want me to act like the girlfriend who forgives her boyfriend for sleeping with someone else-“

“They don’t know I’m sleeping with someone else,” I interrupt her. “They only know she danced with me. And we left the party together. But we’ve always claimed we were like siblings, BFF’s, whatever.” I slowly walk up to her, my anger having somewhat dissipated as I tried to put myself in her shoes, being publicly dating someone and seeing the news that my significant other had gotten a sexy dance from their attractive costar. I would feel humiliated too. I bend down in front of her, speaking in a soft voice. “Believe me, Clau. Most people won’t even imagine there could be something between Jen and me. They must think we were just acting silly, or drunk, or whatever. We’ll be seen together, act happy and in love, and no one will suspect a thing. Now if you act cold, that’s when people will assume I really did cheat on you.”

I see the wheels start turning in her head as she likely ponders what to do with the whole situation, and then she sighs.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s not what we want.”

“Are you still upset?”

She stays frozen in place for a moment, silent, before faintly shrugging her shoulders.

“A little. But it’s okay.”

“Alright.” I stand back up, grabbing her hand to force her up too. “You have time for dinner?”

She checks her phone.

“I have to be at the theater in 2 hours.”

“Then let’s eat at the hotel’s restaurant. Come on.”

I’m relieved she’s not as mad as when she arrived, but we still have a long way to go to make this work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jennifer’s POV**

 

Josh’s tangible absence from set, after having lightened it up almost every day these last few weeks in Atlanta and then Paris, frankly puts a damper on my mood. I know that in the near future, when we’re done filming and we embark on different projects, we won’t be able to spend as much time together as we did in the past few months, but I had gotten used to spending whole days by his side again. Without him, the set is a much sadder, darker place.

Liam and Woody have been trying to distract me and cheer me up all the time. It helps.

But nothing helps more than sharing a few words with Josh, even if only in written form through text messages. And then, after a long day of work, locking myself in our hotel room, putting on his red flannel shirt – making sure to take a deep sniff at the material, filling my whole being with his manly, musky smell – and getting to see him and talk to him on Skype. At first, I find him looking sad and tired, but after he admits that Claudia was pretty upset at the situation and tells me all about their brutal meeting, he seems relieved and in a much better mood.

In my case, it’s the opposite, but I try not to let him see it. I don’t want him to know how much the guilt of knowing I’m responsible for him being scolded by his “girlfriend” is crushing me. And that I’m still beating myself for my own carelessness being the main reason for the mess we’re in now.

When I start yawning from fatigue, Josh gets the cue and says goodbye, but not before we both promise to speak to each other the following night, for as long as we’ll be apart. I need this, need the courage he gives me, need to feel his love to get through that storm.

And I need to be brave for what comes next.

This morning, on one of my only two days off for the next couple of weeks, I’m leaving Berlin for a quick trip to Cologne with Liz. There, we’re supposed to join Nick and his publicist for a meeting about our plan for the next few months. Initially, he – along with Bryan, our director and producer – didn’t want to hear about ending things any sooner than the DVD release of our latest _X-Men_ movie. There was even question of dragging it until the next movie is out – which would have meant two more years of walking around together in public, pretending to be the happy couple we never truly were.

Because the truth about us is that it was never entirely real, even way before I met Josh.

Back then, Nick and I were just friends, playing significant others to help our careers. I didn’t mind it, because there was no one else in my life. But after Josh and I saw each other for the first time, at the Screen Actors Guild awards in 2011, it clicked. And then, when he showed up to audition for his part in _The Hunger Games_ , it felt like fate was pushing us towards one another. As we started getting to know each other, we got closer and closer. But we still fought our growing attraction for a long time, only giving in to it briefly before panicking at the idea of a long distance relationship, and finally admitting to ourselves that there probably wouldn’t ever be anyone else in the world with whom we could be any happier than each other. And my only regret is the precious time we lost being so stubborn about our feelings.

That, and some of the decisions I took in the past, but I can’t change them now. I couldn’t know what would happen.

Liz throws me out of my thoughts as the plane is about to land.

“Jen? Time to buckle your seatbelt?”

I frown.

“Already?”

She answers with a smile. I buckle up and lean back into my seat, closing my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“We’re only gonna be there for a few hours. Just long enough so you can get papped with him and meet us for lunch after.”

I look at her, puzzled.

“There are paps in Cologne?”

Even in Berlin, there are barely any. But as soon as my question has left my lips, I figure it out by myself. I wouldn’t even have needed Liz’s reply, but she answers me anyway.

“There will be. You know how the game works.”

I sigh. Yeah, I know it all too well. There are two kinds of paparazzi: the good ones, and the bad ones. The good ones work “on call” and show up when we need good publicity for some reason. I don’t mind them, because they’re usually quiet, they do their job and then they leave me alone.

The bad paps are another story. They stalk me, camping on my lawn to get a shot of me, or hide in front of my hotel to shout me obscenities when I get out. Thank God, I don’t have to deal with those as often when I’m shooting on location.

But then I figured last week that some of those so-called “bad paps” were probably tipped by Nick’s team the last time I was forced to visit him in London. I would have had the upper hand to force the charade to end now... if only I hadn’t been so careless with Josh in Cannes. Now, he is on the heavy side of the scale, as I’m the one who could be considered as the “cheater” in the eye of the public. Hopefully, he won’t use it against me.

I dread the meeting all the while I’m being driven to the place where I’ll join Nick for a walk, recalling Josh’s account of his own experience with Claudia’s fury. It doesn’t help that Liz confessed Nick was livid when he found out about the article. I only fear his reaction even more now.

Thankfully, when he sees me across the street, he walks up to me with a small smile on his face. I immediately feel relief, until he gets closer and I realize his smile is nowhere close to genuine. Under the heavy mask of happiness, his features are obviously tense.

Of course. We’re acting. And we have to look happy, although I’m supposed to keep up the act that these paparazzi are upsetting me as much as the ones back in London. Otherwise, it wouldn’t look consistent with my past behavior.

This game is getting so complicated.

Nick stops in front of me, looking everywhere but at my face. He doesn’t say a word, simply shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket, nervously stepping from one foot to the other.

“Well...” I start, trying to break the ice. He finally looks down at me. There’s obvious disappointment in his eyes.

“Let’s go? The earlier we get to the restaurant, the earlier we’re done with this thing.”

I nod, but before he can turn around to lead the way, I grab his arm to force him to a stop.

“Hold on.” I stare into his eyes for a moment, trying to convey how much I didn’t mean to hurt him. Although I suspect he’s more concerned about the impact on his image than any feelings he could ever have had for me, friendship included. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. Josh and I have been careless, well, mostly me, but yeah. I’m sorry for putting you in a hard situation. I didn’t think that night, I was...” I sigh. “I had a false sense of security. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.”

“I guess you were drunk, too?” he drops, on an icy tone.

“Nick... you know how it goes.”

I try as much as I can to hide the anger I feel at seeing him criticizing me for drinking – he’s attended several parties himself and knows as well as I do that alcohol flows freely on those occasions. His hypocrisy disgusts me, but I know I have to keep it civil between us.

He shakes his head, staring away.

“Still. You know how you get when you drink too much. It was a disaster waiting to happen. ” He snorts. “How could you be so naive.”

He pauses, before looking at me with a disgruntled face and hardening his tone.

“And he, too. He should have known better. You both, should have known better.”

I look down in shame.

“I know. I’m sorry. But there’s nothing we can do about the past, now. We can only deal with the future. I’m sure we’ll find a solution that will benefit everybody.”

“Yeah. Come on,” he says, finally setting us in motion.

I walk next to him, keeping a respectable distance, and we haven’t passed two blocks before we run into the paps, who were waiting for us at a red light. They follow us as we make our way to the restaurant, taking pictures from several angles, without saying a word. I vaguely hide my face with my purse, forcing myself to show a neutral expression, and Nick stands head high next to me, unfazed by the photographers. Along the way, several other people start to surround us.

I can’t wait to reach the restaurant and have some privacy. Even though those paparazzi had been called beforehand and aren’t being aggressive towards us, I still feel uncomfortable in their presence.

Nick still doesn’t utter a single word.

After what feels like hours of strolling, we finally arrive at the restaurant. I walk in before Nick, without a look behind. In there, we’re quickly led to a table where Liz and Nick’s publicist are waiting for us.

“Hey,” I say, taking the seat next to my publicist.

“How did it go?” she asks.

“It was okay. Uneventful. They were almost nice.”

“Excellent.”

I take a look at the menu card, hoping to find something light that won’t upset my already fragile stomach. Nick’s harsh reaction to my recklessness ruined all my appetite.

I settle on a simple plate of turkey sandwich with a bowl of soup and ask for a bottle of water. Nick, who’s sitting in front of me, avoids my gaze as much as he can. I stare through the big window facing me, my mind easily wandering to Josh.

I wonder what he’s doing in Spain right now. I wonder if he has to pretend with her too, right at this moment. But as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I recall that she’s working today, so maybe not.

That means Josh is probably again by himself sadly meandering through the streets of Madrid.

“Jennifer?”

Liz catches my attention by leaning over in front of me, smiling knowingly.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “What?”

Nick’s publicist speaks up for the first time, her face as cold as that of her client’s.

“I was just saying that we should start discussing what happens next. Liz and I have already started building a plan for the breakup that will minimize the damage to everyone’s image, but we need you both to agree to it and... stick to the plan in order for it to work,” she explains. Her voice shows clear disdain when she mentions how we need to “ _stick to the plan_ ”; there’s no mistaking the dig at me in her words. I swallow thickly and nod.

“I’ll do whatever it takes. It’s my fault. If I need to take some of the blame more heavily in public, I’ll do it.”

“I don’t think it’ll be necessary, Jen,” Liz says, her soft voice instantly reassuring me.

“Okay. Well, there’s only one thing I want to make clear. Whatever we decide, I want to protect Josh.”

Nick snorts, rolling his eyes with contempt.

“And why so? He let you give him a lap dance in public, for fuck’s sake! He let you sit on his fucking lap and suck his damn face in front of everybody! He’s as responsible as you are, why would I lose my reputation to save his? Fucker...”

I sigh.

“You’re right, he’s almost as responsible as I am. He could have stopped me, yet he didn’t. He made the same mistake as me. But you have to admit that he’s the one who’s got the most to lose in this. He’s already struggling because he keeps getting overlooked because of me. I just don’t want this to get worse.”

I exchange a look with Liz, who nods slowly.

“There’s a way to save Nick’s reputation, right?” I add. “There has to be.”

“Yes. And yours, too,” she says.

“Alright.”

I look at Nick expectantly. He’s still clenching his jaw, staring at the table with fire in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. I let out a sigh of relief.

When the food is served, I focus on the taste of the broccoli soup filling my mouth so I stop imagining Josh walking down the streets of Madrid holding hands with Claudia. I try to pay attention to the chatter around me but it’s hard. I still make out that Liz has struck enough deals with media outlets, promising them future exclusives, to make sure they won’t report the news anymore. I will not be forced to see Nick and pretend to be dating him anymore, and we’ll have a good excuse ready as we’re both filming for the next few weeks and he’s gonna leave for Asia soon after his movie wraps, while I’ll take a well deserved vacation after working on the _Mockingjay_ movies for so long. Then, after a few weeks, we’ll slowly start leaking rumors that we’ve broken up, leading up to an official announcement a few days later. Ultimately, we’ll mention that the separation happened in May, so that people who make the connection with the Cannes events aren’t led to believe I’ve cheated on Nick. In the meantime, I have to be very careful with Josh, but Liz tries to be encouraging, telling me that I will still be able to see him in public – as long as we can act like there’s nothing more than friendship between us and be convincing enough. But she’s also realistic – until the dust settles down, we can’t take any more risks.

As for _X-Men_ , Liz explains that it would have been ideal if we could have kept it up until the DVD is out, but in the circumstances, and given that the movie is looking to do great at the box office, the studio – she doesn’t name Bryan, but I know he’s the main executive concerned as my fake romance with Nick was also benefitting him personally – doesn’t mind us ending it now. Seeing each other during the movie’s opening weekend and getting papped together is enough.

Nick looks resigned, but not as worried as I would expect. I’m pleased at the idea that I’ll soon be free.

Now if only it could be the same for Josh.

 

* * *

 

 

I count the days.

I speak to him every night. He looks more wary and exhausted with each passing day, and I wonder if he’s just lonely or Claudia is still mad at him. He won’t tell.

Either way, I learn that he’s spending a lot of time alone, wandering around downtown Madrid, getting drunk in bars while she’s performing in her play, or sending me selfies while he passes the time at the backdoor of the theater she works at, desperate to spend some time with the only person he knows a little better in that big city.

My heart tightens in my chest every night I have to spend alone in my huge bed, without his comforting arms to lock me in a warm embrace. I get more restless than usual, which makes sleep harder to find.

After wrapping up particularly late one night, I go straight to my room, thinking that I’ll just send him a text and a selfie for tonight, as I feel too worn out to stay up any longer. I unlock the door, walk in, and when I reach the living room part of the suite, I do a double take, my heart rate picking up furiously in my chest as my eyes fill up with happy tears.

“Josh!” I let out in a sob, covering my mouth with my hand in disbelief.

He springs up from the couch immediately, but I don’t let him make a step before crashing in his open arms and burying my face in the crook of his shoulder.

“Hi, hun,” he says, his voice on my neck making my skin tickle with delight. He lifts me off the floor and swirls me around a little, while dropping kisses all over the side of my face.

“Oh, Josh,” I whisper. “I thought you were coming back tomorrow!”

He sets me back down on the floor and stares at me with a wicked look.

“What can I say, I missed you too much. And I managed to convince Melissa that I’d been a good boy. I took lots of pics with the fans, went shopping with Claudia, walked her to her play almost every day she worked. She thought that I did a good job, so she agreed that I could come back earlier.”

His smile is my undoing. I can’t stop gazing at him, a thousand different emotions threatening to burst out of me any second. Relief, extreme happiness, deep affection.

I cradle his face, gently caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. I feel the tears still prickle at the corner of my eyes.

“Oh God, I missed you so, so much.”

I lock my arms around his neck as he pulls me closer into him. Our lips meet in a slow, tender dance that has me quickly yearning for more.

“Josh...” I whisper, my head falling backwards as he trails warm kisses down my throat. “I’m still full of makeup, I need to shower...”

“I don’t care,” he answers, gently leading me farther to lift me onto the first elevated surface in sight, a desk. “You’ll deal with this later. It’s been too long.”

I wrap my legs around his torso to pull him closer to me and tug on his white t-shirt in a silent request to take it off. He quickly pulls it over his head, exposing his pale chest under the dim lighting of the room. I lean forward and bury my face in his flesh, kissing and tasting every inch of his skin I can reach with my mouth. I sigh deeply as I feel him drop a kiss on top of my hair.

“All the while I was there, there hasn’t been a night I didn’t think of fucking you before falling asleep,” he says in a low voice, before pulling away just enough so I can take off my tank top. He leans in to capture my lips, and a nice shiver runs down my spine as he suckles gently on the flesh and hums softly.

“You’re gonna make me crazy,” I answer, closing the distance between us so I can feel his bare chest rub against mine. “Fuck, Josh.”

I undo his jeans and they slide down his thighs as he helps me out of my own pants. He pulls off his underwear as well, standing in front of me stark naked and ready to take me right there. But he doesn’t make a move. Instead, he stares into my eyes for a moment, mesmerizing me with his lustful gaze. Slowly, I lean back down on the desk, feeling its coldness on my spine as he hovers above me and latches his mouth onto one of my breasts while fondling the other. My hands find purchase in his blond locks as he keeps sucking and grating my mounds tauntingly.

He continues nibbling on my skin until I can’t stand the tease anymore. I’m about to beg him to push into me already when he straightens up, pulling me with him to the edge of the desk, and slides my underwear down, tentatively running his fingers along my folds before working my clit with more attention. His eyes don’t leave my face as I find myself contorting in pleasure, and then, in one swift but gentle moment, I feel his cock fill me. He doesn’t waste time before thrusting into me fast and hard. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and focus on the look of concentration on his face, his eyes roaming my naked body up and down, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple.

He’s so sexy.

He leans down to kiss me again, his lips moving against my mouth in a choreography we’ve long perfected. I savour the taste of his kisses, the teasing of his tongue, the warmth of his breath on my skin. All the sensations that I sorely miss when he has to go away.

I’ll never have enough of him.

He slows down a little before slipping his hand between us and drawing circles around my clit, resuming his earlier pace. I can’t help the loud moans that come out of me in response. We lock eyes, and his loving smile sparks off delicious flutters inside.

“Fuck, Jen,” he grunts, and the increased pressure on my clit makes me feel the start of the inevitable ascent onto heavenly bliss. “Fuck...”

His other arm is wrapped around my waist, and he pulls me as close to him as he can. His lips find the hollow of my neck, and when I feel him suck on the sensitive skin, I feel myself losing it. In a loud cry of pleasure, my walls contract around his dick, and I sense him desperately search for his own release, pushing into me violently until a series of grunts and pulsing of his dick tells me he’s riding his orgasm. After a while, he stills, breathless, and I rest my head on his chest, my legs still hooked around his butt.

“Fuck...” he whispers again, his breathing slowly returning to normal. “That was hot.”

“You’re so fucking hot, honey.”

I back off a little so I can see his smile.

“You’re not bad yourself,” he chuckles. “Come on. Let’s get that shower done with.”

 

* * *

 

 

It turns out we can’t keep our hands off each other in the shower any better than we could in the living room, so our attempt at cleaning up is delayed by a heavy session of petting and making out that turns into our second round of sex for the night. I find I was starving for his arms around me, his mouth licking and sucking me, his cock filling me again and again. Despite having been together for quite a long time now, my thirst for him hasn’t been quenched yet.

And obviously, given the way he can’t seem to have enough of me either, it’s the same for him.

As soon as I turn the water off, the fatigue from earlier overcomes me, so Josh and I simply slide under the covers of our bed, snuggling comfortably into each other. My head rests on his pillow, close enough to brush my lips on the side of his jaw as my fingers caress his other cheek.

He lets out a deep breath, and I immediately notice his body tense.

“What’s wrong, hun?”

He turns his face towards me. His eyes look full of regret, which makes me frown.

“There’s something I gotta tell you.”

I wish he’d kept it for tomorrow and avoided ruining our perfect night in any way, but at the same time, I feel his heavy heart and I know he won’t sleep well if he doesn’t get out whatever he’s got on his mind.

“Go ahead,” I whisper, trying to keep my gaze focused on his. He cups my face gently, caressing my cheek with his thumb, and I sigh.

“Claudia is gonna come to Berlin in a couple of days.”

“What?”

I jump from my pillow in surprise, staring at him from above, blinking rapidly to the beat of my racing heart. That wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to come back and it’d be over, at least for a while.

The set is our sacred ground. She has no business here, not ever. And especially not for our last few days working on this project.

“It’s not much,” he explains, grabbing my hand resting on his chest. “Her mom is visiting the city, so she’ll come with her and we’ll take some pics. She won’t even spend the whole day with me. Just long enough to get papped.”

“She really doesn’t want to let you go, right?” I ask in a small voice, tears filling my eyes. I can’t be mad at her; I’d do the same thing if I was in her place. I would latch onto him as long as I could, and proudly appear by his side as his girlfriend. I’d walk down the street with him while holding his hand, steal kisses in the dark corners of restaurants, and speak highly of him whenever I’d be interviewed.

Sometimes, I think I’d give anything to be in her place. Being able to claim him as my own. Never having to fear or regret showing him affection in public.

I wipe my eyes quickly, and he pulls me into his arms.

“Hey,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s not what you think. She doesn’t care about me.”

“How could she?” My voice comes out as a sob. “Everyone loves you. She’s so lucky that she’s the one you-“

“No,” he quickly interrupts me, wrapping his strong arms tighter around my back and pulling the blanket over us. “You’re the one, Jen. You’ve always been. We just have to be patient.”

“I can’t anymore, Josh.”

“I know. Maybe I could try to convince her again. I can’t guarantee you it’ll work. She really needs all the good publicity that this movie can bring her. She’s a nice girl. She deserves it.”

“I know I’m being petty, and selfish,” I let out, tracing circles on his chest with my fingers. “But I can’t stand to imagine you holding her hand, kissing her, hugging her... I just can’t.”

“That time is long gone, you know that?” he answers, his fingers trailing up and down my arm. “I told you. She respects our relationship. So she won’t do anything unless it’s absolutely necessary. And that includes just spending time with me, not only kissing and stuff. Trust me, she’d rather be on her own too. She doesn’t enjoy this any more than I do.”

I nod gently. He drops a light kiss on my head, and whispers.

“We’re gonna be okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Josh was right.

His pap stunt is over in barely more than an hour. Claudia and her mom keep touring Berlin, but Josh gets a ride back to the hotel, where he joins me, Liam and some crewmembers for a meal at the hotel’s restaurant.

All day, I was so busy on set that I barely had time to think about him having to spend time with her. It’s only when I find myself alone with him in our room, curling up against him on the couch, that I dare to wonder if she’s finally agreed to drop the charade and set him free, like Nick did with me.

I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

At first, Josh tries to brush the subject off, claiming that it could be worse. That he could be forced to show her affection in public so they’d look like a genuine couple. Really, being seen with her once in a while, no PDA required, isn’t so bad.

But I’m not convinced. I know how dangerous it is that he’s still being linked to her while we always run the risk of getting outed in public. It would be so much easier, so much simpler, if we could both be free at the same time.

I also can’t help but feel mad at Claudia, even though I know I’m not being fair. She’s been nothing but supportive of the whole thing from the beginning. Of course, she was getting something good out of it, but she, too, has to be careful. And if Josh is right – which I doubt, because which girl would despise going out with such an amazing guy? – she doesn’t enjoy having to spend time with him anyway.

And I know firsthand how hard it is to breakthrough in this business, so of course I can understand her doing everything to succeed. But the selfish part of me is furious at the fact that she has to use my boyfriend to get through, no matter that he’s getting something out of it too.

Josh finally joins us on set for the next couple of weeks. Our very last, at least for principal photography – there’s one sequence we haven’t managed to film yet, and that we’ll shoot next spring. The atmosphere at work is more sullen than usual, as if everybody couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that we were almost done with the project and that for most of the cast and crew, they wouldn’t be filming together anymore – ever.

The more days pass, the more anxious I become. I start waking up with nausea that eventually turns into full on puking sessions. Josh is always by my side, obvious worry etched onto his features, but I reassure him as best as I can that I’ll be fine.

The morning of our last day of filming, we have a late call, which allows us to linger in bed for a while and helps me calm my nerves – at least for now. I wake up before Josh, and find him soundly asleep next to me. For once, my stomach is quiet, so I take the opportunity to cuddle into my lover’s side instead of running for the toilet. He barely moves, only turning his head towards me slightly. I can feel his warm breath tickle my skin, and I burrow my face into his neck, draping an arm across his chest.

I close my eyes. Too many memories flood into my mind, from the fun times we shared on set to the pleasant smell of his after-shave, to the comforting sensation of his arms around me at night. I’m not ready for this to end.

Soon, I feel my tears start dripping on his shoulder. I only realize he’s woken up when his fingers trail along my arm and his lips gently kiss the top of my head.

“Good morning, love,” he says.

“Good morning.”

I lift my head to plant a small peck on his lips. He quickly notices the wetness on my cheeks and wipes it off with his thumbs, a sad expression on his own face.

“It’s not the end, Jen.”

“I know. But it feels like it. I know you feel it too.”

He nods slightly. I lie back down next to him, far enough that I can see his features clearly from my resting spot on my pillow. Strong shadows underline his eyes and there’s no real smile on his lips. I raise my hand and run it in his blonde hair – he’s getting it cut and dyed back to his natural brown after he wraps later today.

“It’s ridiculous, I know,” I say, still staring at his yellowish locks. “But it breaks my heart to think you won’t be blonde ever again after today.”

He snorts.

“What about you? I liked you as a brunette. But then you had to cut your hair so you wouldn’t need to dye it back!” he chuckles, and I playfully slap his chest, tears pooling at the corner of my eyes.

“Silly. You know that’s not the reason why I did it.”

“I know. It was to piss Francis off.”

We both laugh. It’s good to lighten the atmosphere a little bit.

But then Josh has to make it heavy again. He bites his lip for a second, and I frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Jen... can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

He still looks hesitant.

“You know... you’ve been sick almost every morning these past few days... I was just... I just wanted to make sure...”

My frown turns into a small smile.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” he finally drops in a low voice, as if someone could hear us through the thick hotel walls.

I giggle.

“No, I’m not pregnant! I was just worried, that’s all. That’s the kind of thing that happens when I get anxious. No big deal.”

I smile at his obvious breath of relief.

“Hey, I haven’t been sick this morning,” I remark.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“What time is it?”

I shrug, before curling closer into his side, letting him wrap both his arms around my back.

“I don’t care. I’m staying here with you all day. Fuck the movie.”

He chuckles.

“Now that wouldn’t be very professional of you, Miss Lawrence,” he whispers in my ear, before locking my earlobe between his teeth and running his tongue along the flesh. “That’s not what I expect from an Oscar winner... But I think Andre will come barging in before we can miss our call.”

“Hmmmm, unfortunately, I think you’re right.” My lips travel to my favorite spot on his neck, and I gently suck on his skin, eliciting a deep sigh from him.

“Fuck... that’s good,” he lets out in a breath, and I look up at him, a wink at the ready. He stretches his arm to grab his phone on the night table and groans when he sees the time.

“9 am, dammit,” he curses, putting the phone back on the table. He turns to face me, an apologetic smile on his face. “Sorry, hun, I have to start getting ready. Need to shave off that stuff, you know.”

He rubs the almost invisible scruff covering his neck, and I playfully pout in response. He leans in to kiss me, a huge grin on his face.

“Come on. Don’t go all platypus on me.”

I watch him carefully as he gets off the bed, his perfect, naked butt in full view as he saunters into the bathroom. With a sigh, I follow him in there. I’ll take any chance I get to spend time with him now. Even if it means something as dull as watching him shaving his face.

He smiles when he sees my reflection in the mirror. I’m still naked from our bedtime activities last night.

“Don’t tempt me... we don’t have time.” He says with a wink.

But I have no intention of teasing him. Instead, I walk closer to him and wrap my arms around his torso, pressing my chest against his skin and resting my face on the ship tattoo decorating his back. I sigh, before loosening my embrace and running the palms of my hands all over his back, my fingers lingering on the details of the drawing adorning the middle of it.

“I want a tattoo,” I say suddenly, and he freezes, the razor sitting idly in the middle on his cheek.

“What? Are you serious? I thought you’d said never?”

“I changed my mind. I want something small. I don’t know. But I want something that reminds me of you.”

“Like what? My name?”

I look at his stunned face in the mirror and shake my head.

“Too obvious. No, I need something discreet but obvious for me. I don’t know. Maybe your initials?”

“You can, like, intricate two letters in one and make it even less obvious,” he explains. “And you could get white or brown ink, that’s not as visible as the black ink and it’s so much easier to cover with makeup.”

I smile as we exchange a look through the mirror.

“That’s good! I want that!”

He chuckles.

“Now hold your horses. Where do you want that?”

I don’t even hesitate before proudly lifting my hand closer to his face.

“There.”

He furrows his eyebrows, looking thoughtful for a moment.

“Are you sure? I’ve been told it hurts like crazy...”

“I don’t care. I want it on my hand cause that’s always the first place I look at when I’m nervous.” I wrap my arms around his torso again, my finger gently stroking the skin between my right thumb and index, on the back of my hand. “Right here.”

He nods slightly, his face lighting up a little. He doesn’t add anything though, silently resuming his shaving job.

“I’m gonna get one too. Just let me think about it,” he finally says.

He turns around slightly, and I cup his face, without a care for the residue of shaving cream still on his skin. I kiss him gently, and whisper.

“I love you.”

His answer makes a rush of warmth go through me.

“I love you too. So much.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Josh’s POV**

I thought I would be strong. I thought I wouldn’t turn into a melancholic mess at the thought of filming being almost over.

Oh how wrong I was.

As soon as I walk into set with Jennifer following me, holding my hand, there’s a permanent lump that lodges itself in my throat. It doesn’t help that everyone is showing various stages of sadness on their faces, from light discomfort to totally forlorn expressions. I see Francis trying to cheer up everybody, to make us forget that this is truly the end, but it becomes obvious very quickly that no one can truly forget. There might be one scene left to shoot, but given the circumstances, it doesn’t count. Today is the real end.

Jennifer is surprisingly strong, given that she’s been so upset over the past few days. She even went as far as voluntarily avoiding the small packets of fans waiting for a short encounter, pictures and autographs from us in front of the hotel, just to make sure no one would witness her evident anxiety. I took pictures for two, even acknowledging some fans multiple times. That’s why I was expecting her to be a mess today.

But surprisingly, she’s pretty composed, quickly leaving my side to walk around the set and goof around with everyone as if it were just any other day at work. I study her from afar while she’s chatting animatedly with Liam and I’m getting the last touch-ups done to my hair and make-up. Although she hides it well, I can tell she’s sad by the way she laughs a little too loud, by the way she goes from one person to another like a bee flying from flower to flower, or by the way her smile falls slightly when she thinks no one is looking.

She should know better. She should know that I’m always looking for her. Just as she is so often for me.

I keep silent as Ve puts the finishing touches to my face, and when she’s done, she lightly pats my arm, her eyes visibly glassy. The next “scene” we’re about to shoot is my own very last one. It’s not a proper scene, just a shot of me throwing a blanket over the camera that will be edited together with the rest of the footage to make it look like I’m putting Katniss off when she’s on fire in one of the last sequences of the second movie.

Most of the cast and crew present for this last day gather around the spot I’m standing in. Before we’re ready for the first take, I let my eyes roam from one colleague to another, taking in all their faces and working hard not to let them affect me.

I’ve been pretty good so far at hiding my feelings, I think. I’m pretty proud.

When Francis calls “Action”, I drop the blanket over the camera and the director is quick to say “Cut”. He doesn’t even take the time to look at the footage before walking up to me.

“That was good,” he starts. “Just do it a little harder. Peeta is in panicked mode, seeing Katniss on fire in front of him, and we need to feel the desperation in the way you move.”

“Alright.”

He winks, before walking back to his spot while we get ready for the next take. I exchange a brief look with Jen, who’s standing at the other end of the room, staring at me with an unreadable expression. I focus back on the task at hand and Francis has me repeat the motions a few times.

I know that last take is the one even before Francis yells “Cut” and stays frozen at his place. His assistant shows him the images, and he nods slowly, as we all wait for more. Then, he stands up without a word, and makes his way to me, opening his arms to me for a deep hug.

Usually, he’d shout the announcement of the wrap for that particular cast member. But his voice is low and heavy when he finally speaks, holding me tightly in his arms.

“It’s a wrap for Josh Hutcherson.”

And this is where I lose it. I don’t even make an effort to keep the tears from pouring freely. Francis keeps talking, and I barely make out his words in my foggy mind.

“Well done, Josh. You can be proud of your work.”

I nod, and after a moment, he pulls away. Nina is the next one to hug me, before the rest of the cast and crew, one by one, congratulate me with a bittersweet goodbye.

The more people I see, the harder my sobs become.

And then, after everyone has taken the time to hug me, she’s the one finally standing in front of me. Without a word, she wraps her arms around my neck and lets out a deep sigh, before joining me with her own tears. I pull her as close to me as I can, feeling her body tremble with emotion.

“Hey, it’s not even over yet. You can bet I’m gonna stalk this set until the end.”

She chuckles amidst her tears, pulling back just enough so I can see her watery eyes. Her hands travel up into my hair, and she gently grabs fistfuls of it, massaging my scalp distractedly while leaning her forehead against mine.

“Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

I can’t help but laugh. In this deep emotional moment, all she can think about is eating. Without a care for the numerous people surrounding us, I cradle her wet cheeks and press my lips against hers for a tender kiss.

“Alright. Gotta get rid of that makeup though. See you at crafty’s.”

 

* * *

 

 

In reality, I just needed some time alone to pull myself back together before going back. Carefully, I wash all the makeup from my face, wiping my eyes of the tears I’ve shed, but once I’m done, it’s still obvious in my features that I’m upset.

And despite my face being all cleaned of the makeup, that blond hair is still nagging me. I still see Peeta Mellark staring back at me in the mirror. That character that I wanted to play so badly, that made me feel so many emotions over the past three years.

Oh, well. I guess we’ll all look all kinds of miserable today. Let’s deal with it.

I spot Jen at the craft services trailer, in the middle of a conversation with Cira - her personal assistant on set - while they’re both waiting to fetch their food. Quietly, I sneak up on her before wrapping my arms around her waist in a quick move and beginning to tickle her sides in the spots I know she’s particularly sensitive. She gasps and thrashes playfully in my arms, her throaty laughter resonating over the chatter of the small crowd waiting by the trailer.

“I got you!” I say in a low voice, burying my face on the side of her neck to drop a soft kiss there. She relaxes in my chest, her laughter turning into a deep sigh.

“Not here,” she whispers, gently taking my arms off her waist. I back off a little, but not before leaving a trail of kisses down her neck.

“Why not? There’s no camera,” I reply in a soft voice. She turns around, her arms locking around my neck, a sad smile on her face.

“There were paps here, the other day, “she says, her gaze scanning our surroundings quickly before she leans in for a quick kiss. “You’re playing with fire, Hutch. “

“Well, you’re the one kissing me in the open. “

“But you were the one taking me in your arms. “

“I was tickling you!” I snort.

I gaze into her eyes for a short moment, before letting her go. She’s right. We gotta be careful.

Fuck, I’m so tired of hiding.

The line moves forward quickly, and soon we find ourselves holding plates of chicken, risotto and vegetable salad. I grab a bottle of water and make my way to a grass-covered area nearby, where I drop on the ground and set my plate on my knees as I uncap the bottle and take a few gulps of water. Jen drops down next to me, quickly devouring her food as if she had been starving for days. I stare at the sunset in silence.

I refuse to acknowledge that this is the end. My last day of work with all these guys that have become like a second family for me.

“I don’t want this to end,” Jen says between two bites.

I look at her without a word, amazed that she’s pretty much read my mind. I don’t know why though – there’s no one in the world who understands me better than her. That’s why we connect so easily – and mostly why I can’t have enough of her.

“There’s still two rounds of promo left,” I point out lamely. She shakes her head. I know I’m not addressing the real issue.

“That’s not the same. You know that.”

“Good things need to come to an end, Jen. And you know what? You can do what you want now. You can pick your own script, produce your own movie, cast your own actors, hire your own crew. You could reunite us all on your next project if you wished. You can do what you want now.”

She gazes down, a sad smile on her face. She looks like she’s holding back tears. After glancing around to make sure no one is looking at us, I gently put my hand on her thigh, rubbing my fingers on the fabric of her pants in a reassuring way.

“Oh, no, I can’t do what I want,” she finally says in a quivering voice.

“Why not?”

She looks up, her eyes glassy.

“Because you’re still dating someone else in public.”

She quickly avoids my stare, looking up to make sure the tears don’t fall down. I grab her hand and sigh.

“Jen...”

“No, don’t. I know I’ve been putting you through this as well for so long. I know I’m not being reasonable here. But it still sucks, you know? I can’t...” she lowers her voice to barely more than a whisper. “I can’t deal with it anymore. Summer is coming soon. For once, I’m on a break. And I won’t even be able to spend time with you –“

“We’ll find a way, Jen-“

“We’re dating, Josh! We’re dating, yet we can’t go on dates, and I’m frustrated!”

I frown.

“Wouldn’t you rather stay at home than go out, though?”

“Of course,” she says, rolling her eyes, before letting her gaze fall back on me. “More often than not. But the thing is, I love you Josh. I love you, and I know you so well. I want you to be happy. I know you like to stay inside, but you like to go out too. And I want to go out with you, you know? I want to make you happy... that’s part of my job as your girlfriend. And it kills me that I’m keeping you from doing that.”

“It’s not your fault...”

I put my arm around her shoulders and she leans into me, wrapping her arms around my torso.

“Ok. It kills me that she gets to go on dates with you. And not me.”

“You want to go on dates with her?” I smile.

She chuckles and playfully punches my arm.

“Idiot. You know what I mean.”

“I was teasing you. I hate when you’re upset. What do you think I do with her when I go to Spain?”

It suddenly hits me that we’ve almost never spoken about my trips. For most of the past year, either we weren’t dating, or she was so busy filming that she wouldn’t have time to question me about that. All I’ve made clear was that there was nothing romantic between Claudia and me. At least, nothing anymore. We did try, at the very beginning, but I couldn’t move on from Jen. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t make more of an effort to forget her. I’ve never been happier than since we’ve become a serious couple, and I feel like the future is bright for us.

It’s just a matter of time before we can truly be ourselves, but I do share her frustration.

Jen looks deeply lost in her thoughts. I kiss the side of her head.

“Have dinner at cozy restaurants. Go to the movies. Watch plays. Go shopping. Take a walk, hand-in-hand, down the streets of Madrid...”

Her voice breaks. I tighten my hold on her, leaning my cheek on top of her head.

“Oh, Jen... it’s not like that. Not at all. I can’t believe we never talked about this until today. No, when I go there, I usually eat at McD, or Taco Bell. Most movies are dubbed there so I never go to the movies there... I only do it in America. And I never even took her there the times she visited LA. I watched her play once but most of the time she’s rehearsing and performing so I just wait for her to be done by the backdoor of the theater. Most of the time, I’m all by myself, wandering down the streets, hoping to catch some fans who’ll post my picture on social media, so that everyone believes I’m visiting my ‘girlfriend’. And the few times we actually walk together these days, we don’t even bother holding hands anymore. It’s not necessary.”

She looks up, her eyes full of hope.

“Jen... she’s tired of it just as much as we are. But it wouldn’t look good if I’d ‘dump’ her right now. People know about Cannes... they think we hooked up... they would assume I cheated on her. We gotta be patient.”

She nods. I smile.

“We’ll find a way. I promise. This summer, I’m taking you on dates. Real dates.”

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, I’m expected at the hair and makeup trailer for one heartbreaking step.

Getting rid of my blond hair.

I had the choice between getting it done here in Berlin or waiting until I came back home. I chose to have it done as soon as possible, because I felt like it would be easier to move on if I did it quickly.

But oh, is it still hard. When my hairstylist is done with the dyeing job and haircut, I stare at myself in the mirror for a long time, taking in the brown hair I’ve been missing for the past six months. I thought I would see my usual self reflecting back at me, but I find that there’s something different.

I’ve changed. The sadness of being done with this project is evident in my features, and it makes me look a lot more mature than usual.

I try to act as if nothing was wrong, taking a picture with my hairstylist before casually going back on set, grabbing a bag of Doritos when I walk past the catering trailer. When I get in, Jen is rehearsing her last scene with Woody, and I spot Liam staring at them from a distance. Underneath his tough exterior, I can see that he’s shaken up too. His eyes are somber, he keeps his hands in his pockets, and he doesn’t say a word.

“Hey, man.” I say in a low voice when I get near him.

He turns towards me, and gives me a small smile.

“Hey! Couldn’t wait to shed Peeta’s skin?”

I shake my head.

“I wasn’t ready.”

“I’m not either.”

“How is Jen?”

His smile falls. He keeps silent for a while, lost in his thoughts.

“I think... I think she’s in denial, man,” he finally says, before looking at me. “She’s acting as if it was any other day. You wouldn’t guess it’s the last day. Look. “

He makes a sharp head gesture to point at my girlfriend, who’s laughing like crazy as she playfully punches Woody’s arm and runs around him. I can see Woody looking a little uneasy, but he’s clearly making an effort to let it show as little as possible. He probably feels our gazes on him because suddenly, our eyes meet and he waves at us with a smile. Jen stops next to him and looks up, her face weirdly falling when she takes in my appearance.

Oh yeah.

I run a hand through my short, brown hair and look down. I hadn’t told her what I was going to do before coming back on set tonight. I didn’t expect her to look so shocked, though.

I’m about to go meet her when Francis makes his way to her and Woody to give them pointers about the next – and very last – scene they have to shoot. I stare at them distractedly for a while, until Liam puts his hand on my shoulder and sighs.

“Hey, man. Let’s go?”

He motions to a bunch of crates in a corner, and I nod, following him there and sitting on one of the blue metal containers. I look at my bag of Doritos and eventually put it away. I’m not hungry anymore. I didn’t think dread would affect me so much. I knew it would be hard, but I never expected it to hit me so soon.

It’s not even over yet, so how is it gonna be when Francis calls “Cut” for the last time? I can’t even imagine it. It’s too hard.

I force myself to stop thinking about it and just focus on watching my friends act the scene, over and over again. I try to keep in mind that we’ve got one more scene to do in the spring, but it still does little to comfort me. After several takes, Francis stays quiet for a moment, his eyes suddenly filling up with tears.

He doesn’t even need to say the word.

Jen and Woody share a sad smile, before he takes her in his arms and hugs her tightly. All trace of the previous playfulness between the two is long gone. What only remains is the sorrow we all feel at the realization that this is it. It’s over.

We’ve wrapped the last scene.

Liam and I exchange a brief look. He gets up and shakes his head, running his hand over his face to hide his tears. I’ve never seen him so shaken up, ever. Slowly, I get up and make my way to where Jen and Woody are still hugging, with Liam silently joining in the embrace. Without a word, I wrap an arm around Jen, rubbing her back soothingly, while clutching to her arm and finally allowing myself to shed some tears. We all fall to the floor in a hump of limbs, crying our eyes out in the relative privacy of our little bubble.

“It’s not over, guys,” Woody whispers as I tighten my hold on Jen and he wraps an arm around me.

I lift my head from Jen’s arm and drop a light kiss on her temple, before bringing my mouth next to her ear and attempting to speak as best as I can amidst my tears.

“You’re amazing, hun,” I say in a soft voice, low enough that only she can hear my whisper. “You know what I will miss the most from these movies? Working with you. That’s it. Getting that part changed my life, but I wouldn’t care as much for it if it hadn’t been for you. Thank you so much for being the perfect Katniss to my not-so-perfect Peeta.”

She raises her head a little bit so she can take in my glistening eyes, and Woody lets go long enough that she can wrap her arms around my shoulders for a moment, burying her head in the crook of my neck.

“Oh, Josh...” she whimpers. “You never noticed, did you?”

“Noticed what?”

“How I’ve been dreading this moment for two years. How I knew how much it would hurt, not being able to work with you all the time again. I had a taste of it when we started filming and you weren’t there and it was crushing, Josh. It was.”

She pauses. I feel her lips drop a gentle kiss on the side of my neck.

“And you shut up. No one could have done a better Peeta than you.”

She lifts her head from my shoulder just enough so I can press my forehead against hers.

“I love you,” I murmur.

“I love you.”

I close my eyes to try to contain a new round of fresh tears. Suddenly, I feel two bodies widening our hug, and I look up to find Woody and Liam crouched over us again, their arms wrapped around Jen and me.

“This is going on Twitter.”

I recognize Nina’s voice, but I don’t bother looking up. I’m feeling relieved here, in our little world, with only the four of us. I used to be Jen’s only lifeline on set, but since my character doesn’t have as much screentime as usual in the third movie, she got much closer to Liam and Woody than before. I know she missed me a lot – and so did I – but in the end, she was in good hands, and I bet she enjoyed herself way more than she lets on.

For some reason, she likes to exaggerate her reaction to my absence.

I hear more voices. I don’t pay much attention to them. Instead, I focus on the scent of Jen’s skin, the warmth of Woody’s hand rubbing circles on my back, the sound of Liam’s quiet sobs.

“I can’t feel my legs anymore,” I say when numbness overcomes them.

Jen chuckles, but tightens her hold on my shoulders instead of letting go.

“I don’t care. You stay right here with me.”

It soon gets too painful for me to stand like that anymore, crouched down in front of her, so I move and sit right on the floor. Jen quickly snuggles between my legs, lying down on my chest with her arms wrapped around my torso. Liam and Woody go grab drinks before joining us on the floor, and we stay there for what feels like hours. I can finally see the rest of the crew, all looking as emotional as we are, holding each other for long moments at a time, shedding tears, but also congratulating each other for all the hard work they did on the movies.

After a moment, Francis walks up to us and looks down at us, a proud but sad smile on his face.

“Guys, we’re going to the restaurant to... unwind a little bit. Care to join us?”

“Nope,” Jen says. “I’m staying here. I don’t want this to end. If I stay here, it won’t end.”

I giggle at her childish reasoning. That kind of thing she does all the time makes me love her a little bit more every day.

“Go ahead, we’ll meet you soon,” Woody answers, and Francis nods before joining the crew in wrapping all the filming material for pick up tomorrow. I know we’re being selfish. But I’m glad we can enjoy some alone time. Grieve this project together. This is what we need.

I close my eyes, and a thousand memories surge through my mind. My first audition for the role of Peeta. The first screentest with Jen. Our first day of work on the first movie, when I had to pinch myself to remind me that it was real. Getting drunk with Liam and puking all over my parents’ garden. Running around with Jen in the woods of North Carolina. Flirting openly on set of the second movie, and multiplying sexual innuendos until we both realized it wasn’t a game and we were genuinely attracted to one another. Getting high and wasted at Woody’s place. Fucking Jen on the private beach of my rental house in Hawaii.

Surprising Jen with an unexpected set visit, and seeing all the love, affection and happiness on her face.

Trying to comfort everybody after Philip’s sudden death.

“Josh?” Jen’s voice puts me out of my dreams.

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t wanna stay there late.”

I nod. Liam and Woody get the message, because they reluctantly get up and give us a subtle headshake before making their way to the trailers to get changed. Jen gets up and lends me a hand to help me up, and as soon as I’m on my feet, she’s back in my arms, sobbing.

“How are we gonna make it?”

“Shhhh,” I say, holding her tightly to me. “Time. Time will work it out. Now let’s go eat with the guys, okay?”

I manage a small smile as I cup her face and softly stroke her cheeks, and she nods lightly.

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

When we join the crew at the restaurant, Nina and Francis are in the middle of a passionate discussion, reliving some memories from filming the last three movies of the franchise. They’re obviously well past the sorrow atmosphere of the night, but listening to their happy chatter is enough to make Jen weep again. It kills me to have to hold back from hugging her. Despite the relative emptiness of the restaurant, there are still patrons who could see us and figure out our secret.

We barely stay long enough to eat. At some point, Jen begins to stare at me with imploring eyes, and I don’t need her to spell it out. I immediately say goodbye to everyone, and we leave quietly through the back door, getting in a car waiting for us by the side of the restaurant. Along the ride, Jen drops her head on my shoulder and I take her hand, and neither of us says a word. I know she’s got lots of things on her mind, lest what we’re gonna do these next few weeks. My mind has been in overdrive too, as I tried to figure out how I could act on my promise.

I need to be creative. We can’t take too many risks, but there has to be a way to go out while still keeping the secret. There has to be a way to feel “normal”. I know Jen craves it. I do too, although I feel guilty because my ongoing fake relationship with Claudia is what is currently keeping us from enjoying our own, real relationship without any constraint, rather than Jen’s own charade with Nick.

“When are you announcing the break up?” I suddenly ask, realizing that although they’ve made the decision to end it, in the eye of the public, they’re still very much together and getting caught with me would cause her all kinds of trouble that I absolutely don’t want her to get into.

My situation with Claudia is a bit more manageable, in comparison.

“Why are you thinking about that now?” she asks in a raspy voice, lifting her head from my shoulder to stare at me with curious eyes.

“Just wondering. Trying to figure out some things.”

“Well, I don’t know exactly. Liz is supposed to give me some info later on. They want to wait a little bit, especially after Cannes, so it doesn’t look like he dumped me after I cheated on him with you.”

I nod.

“Makes sense.”

“When are you going back to Spain?” she asks in a disdainful voice.

“Jen...”

“When?”

I bite my lip. Her face falls.

“Not already?”

“No, no. Don’t worry about that. I’m not going back. At least, not until the fall, maybe, if our movie makes it into film festivals.”

“You’re not going back?”

I shake my head.

“No matter what happens, this will end no later than after the festival circuit is over.”

“So if you’re dragging it out and you’re not going over there anymore...”

I nod, a sad smile on my lips.

“She’ll spend most of the summer in LA.”

“At your house?”

“Oh, Jen...”

She looks so completely dejected, my heart tightens in my chest. I cup her face and kiss her gently.

“Of course, not,” I say in a soft voice. “She’ll either stay at the hotel or rent a house. And she won’t be alone. She’s coming with her best friend and her mom. And she told me she’ll have other friends on visit too.”

“But you’ll have to go out with her.”

“Don’t think about it for now, okay? We’ll figure something out.”

The driver pulls into the hotel’s parking lot and drives us to the back entrance, where we discreetly enter the building. We quickly head to my room – which we’ve shared for the whole duration of the Berlin shoot, Jen staying here even while I was busy being seen in Madrid – and it’s only then that I notice that she’s still wearing her wig.

“You weren’t as eager to part with Katniss as I was with Peeta,” I remark, running a hand through her fake brown locks.

She takes a strand of hair between her fingers and smiles sheepishly.

“Perhaps. Or perhaps I’ll keep it?”

“What do you mean, you’ll keep it?”

She grabs my hand and leads me to sit together on the edge of the bed. I look at her expectantly.

“Ve offered me to keep it. She said it might come in handy if I ever wanted to blend in the crowd.”

I chuckle.

“Don’t most people know you as a brunette though?”

“Maybe. But they certainly don’t expect to stumble upon brunette-Jennifer Lawrence right now, don’t you think?”

I stare into her eyes for a moment. I know her well enough to know that she’s thinking the same thing I am. We might have found our way to go out incognito. I’ll be recognized, but Jen, not so much.

Especially since her wig is almost the same color and length as Claudia’s hair. The wheels start turning faster in my head. She gives me a wide smile, before lightly tapping my thigh and getting back up to make her way to the bathroom, shedding her clothes on the floor in the process. I stare at her naked ass while she stops over the threshold to unclasp her bra. She turns around, her brunette locks falling in waves over her bare shoulders, and winks.

“What do you think? Do I look like her?”

Despite the sexy pose she’s taking that’s making me start to get hard, I can’t help but laugh.

“Actually, she usually wears clothes.”

“Usually?” She lifts an eyebrow. She has to know that I’m not referring to anything recent. But I enjoy the teasing anyway.

“Oh, Jen. You know you’ve been my only for a while now.”

She doesn’t answer right away, only begging me with her eyes. I walk up to her, taking off my shirt along the way. When I find myself standing in front of her, I lean into her ear to whisper a few words.

“What about Nick? Does he usually walk around you like this?”

I quickly get rid of my pants and boxers, and stare at her with a wicked smile.

“He used to. Not anymore.”

My arms snake around her waist, pulling her to me, skin against skin. I nuzzle the side of her neck, placing featherlight kisses along her delicate jaw until I reach her earlobe.

“Anyone else?”

Her palms travel down the planes of my back, and I push her forward into the bathroom, stopping when she gasps upon feeling the cold tiles of the wall I’ve pressed her naked butt into.

“Only an adorable, sexy, annoying dork from Kentucky.”

I chuckle, before I capture her lips with mine, gently sucking on her flesh as I chase the warmth of her body, as if we could melt into one. I pull away with a smirk.

“I wonder who that is.”

“The cutest idiot in the world,” she whispers with a smile. “Damn, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Oh yeah?” I kiss her again, this time softly prying her lips open so I can let my tongue caress hers. She cradles my face, her fingers traveling up into my hair.

“Why did you cut it so short?”

“Payback for the pixie. To annoy you.”

“Well, it works.”

She pretends to pout. I let out a snort.

“Come on, you big baby. Let’s get cleaned up.”

I pull her with me into the shower stall. It’s dark and quite tight, but I like it that way. We’re used to my large, exposed shower at home, and I found out during my stay that I enjoyed sharing that more closed off space with Jen. It feels more intimate, in a way.

As I turn the faucet open, I look up over my shoulder, and suddenly realize that Jen has kept her wig on.

“Aren’t you gonna take this off?” I say, pointing at the fake hair while I pull her to me, her skin slick with the water pouring from the shower over my head sticking to my chest.

“Nope. Don’t you miss fucking brunettes?”

I lean in for a kiss, tasting the warm water soaking her lips as it cascades down her face.

“I miss fucking you,” I whisper when our lips part, just long enough to catch our breath. “I fell in love with you. Not your hair.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” she answers in a low voice. I don’t need her to spell it out any clearer. My lips travel of their own accord down her throat, all the way to her breasts, which I fondle and kiss thoroughly. I feel her arch her back in response, her fingers running through my hair as she presses my face closer to her upper body. I look up, and find her sighing deeply. With a smile, I let my mouth drop warm kisses down her belly, until I can kneel to align my face with her throbbing center. She purrs when I press my tongue against her clit, my hands pushing her hips against the cold wall of the shower. I lift one of her legs and let her foot rest on the corner built-in shelf to give myself better access. As I tease and nibble on her bundle of nerves, I feel her tense and her moans get louder. The water pouring over covers us like a warm blanket.

“Fuck, Josh... you’re gonna make me come.”

I look up, and find her caressing her breasts and twitching against the wall in response to my moves. I take her words as a dare and do everything I know that will throw her off the edge in no time: sucking harder on her clit, pumping a few fingers inside her, and grabbing her ass at the same time. Her muscles finally contract around my fingers in perfect synchronization with the loud cry of release she lets out. When I feel her relax a little bit, I stand back up and pull my head backwards, letting the hot water from the shower wash over my face. That’s when I feel a pair of lips suck on my neck, and a soft hand grab a hold of my hard cock. Her arm ends up circling my waist, and I look back down at her, our gazes mixing together, full of lust, love, and affection.

“Do I turn you on?” she asks in her most raspy voice, the one that is only for me, that she only ever uses when we get intimate.

“I didn’t think I could get any harder,” I admit with a smile, before trapping her lips between mine. “Turn around.”

She does as I tell her, understanding what I’m thinking even without words. She bends over slightly, putting her hands on her thighs, and lets me enter her slowly. I stand still for a moment once I feel I’m buried all the way in, and she begins moving, grinding her ass onto me gently while I try to contain myself enough to keep going.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that,” I let out.

She looks over her shoulder and winks at me.

“Come on, dude. I’m waiting. Enjoy the view?”

She takes her hair in her hand and wrings it. If I didn’t know her any better, I’d think she feels somewhat disadvantaged towards brunettes, and is trying to convince me that she’s as pretty as them. Which she doesn’t need to do, really – there’s only ever been her, ever since I laid eyes on her.

And now, naked in front of me, she could be bald or sporting a neon green wig that I wouldn’t find her any less attractive.

“You know I always do.”

I finally get going, thrusting into her slowly at first, then faster and deeper as I respond to her moans. I let my hands caress her wet back, all the way to her shoulders, which I massage carefully. When I feel I’m getting too close, I slow down, and she picks up the lead from there. Eventually, she stands up straighter, pressing her hands against the wall to use it as leverage, and I nuzzle the space between her neck and shoulder while using my finger to help work her to completion. Soon, I find myself unable to hold any longer, and so I fill her with my seed, panting over her shoulder as I let my orgasm consume me for a moment. Her breaths get shorter, and as we’re still locked together, I feel her come again, her body relaxing into my torso. She rests her head on my shoulder and sighs.

“Fuck, Josh... that was hot.”

I smile, before kissing her lightly.

“Yeah. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought we’d stay in bed and watch TLC shows with annoying German dubbing.”

She chuckles.

“The night is still young.”

 

* * *

 

 

I end up falling asleep from the exhausting toll of the day way before Jen joins me in bed. When I wake up later, the sun rays peeking through the room’s windows, the first thing I notice is that Jen’s head is back to her natural blonde. The light reflects on her golden locks as she’s lying fast asleep, her face buried in the crook of my neck. Her hand is resting possessively on my chest, and I cover it with mine instinctively.

This is what I want. This is what I’d like to relive, morning after morning.

I stare at her some more as she shows no signs of waking up. She looks so peaceful, her face completely relaxed. I caress the back of her hand gently until she stirs a little and eventually looks up at me with a dreamy smile.

“Good morning,”she whispers in a raspy voice.

“Good morning.”

I plant a quick kiss on her slightly chapped lips.

“What time is it?”

“No idea. Must be early. Andre hasn’t come barging in yet.”

She chuckles, before nuzzling my neck.

“Hmmmm, you smell good,” she remarks.

“Huh, thanks?”

“No, it’s true. I could get high on this.” She pauses, lifting her hand to stroke the side of my face. “I wish we could stay here in bed all day, watch bad reality TV and down a bottle or two.”

I stretch my arm to pick up my phone on the bedside table.

“8:40am. That’s pretty early to think about getting wasted.”

“I don’t care. Anything to keep you here with me.”

I stare at her eyes, trying to figure out what she’s thinking but won’t say out loud. There’s something on her mind, something explaining these deep thoughts – she can have a meaningful conversation more often than not, but that kind of waking up talk is really unusual for her.

“I’m not going anywhere. Well, maybe I’ll go have breakfast cause I’m hungry as hell –“

“Josh!”

I was right. There is something bugging her. And I know I don’t even need to ask her to reveal it to me, I can read in her face that she’s about to tell me. She rarely hides anything from me for long, anyway.

“What have you planned for the next few weeks?”

“I hadn’t told you?”

“Nope. You were too busy playing boyfriend with your chick.”

I shake my head, a small laugh escaping my throat.

“Come on, Jen...”

“Seriously.” She lifts a leg over my hips and climbs on top of me, lying down atop my chest, her chin resting on my sternum so we can lock eyes.

“I wasn’t playing boyf-“

“You know what I mean,” she interrupts me with a smile.

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna tour Europe with my brother. Kind of a graduation present from me.”

“That’s awesome! And you didn’t tell me!”

“I didn’t think.”

She looks down, running her fingers through my scarce chest hair.

“What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, and I wrap my arms around her back, hugging her to me.

“Jen... tell me.”

She sighs.

“I was hoping we’d get to spend time together after filming is wrapped,” she finally admits, before sliding off me and sitting on the side of the bed, facing away from me. I guess she doesn’t want me to see how upset she is, but the truth is that I don’t need to see her to figure it out. I know her way too well.

“Why couldn’t we?” I reply in a soft voice, rising up to sit behind her, cheek pressed against her back as my arms encircle her. “You could come with us.”

“I can’t. Got to do some ADR work on _Serena_. It’s been pushed back way too much, I don’t have an excuse anymore.”

“How long will it take you?”

“I don’t know. A week, maybe.”

“Then why don’t you go and join us when you’re done?”

She doesn’t answer straightaway. Instead, she stares for a good while at the old bathtub sitting at the end of the bed.

“How could we?” she finally lets out on a dejected tone. “We can’t go out together, it’s too risky. I don’t want to keep you from enjoying your trip with your brother. There’s no way, Josh.”

“You could wear your wig. No one would expect you to be walking around in public wearing it. It could work, Jen.”

She turns around, just enough to see my face. The disappointment I see in her features breaks my heart.

“But what if it doesn’t?”

I sigh.

“You know what? I think we’re gonna have to take some risks. We’ll go crazy otherwise. And if something happens, if we get recognized together, then we’ll see. We hire publicists for a reason, right? Better put that money to good use, don’t you think? “

I give her a small smile, and she finally nods, before pressing her forehead against mine.

“I’m tired of hiding, all the time,” I add in a low voice. “I want to live my life. I want to be with you. I can pretend with Claudia all they want, I can make compromises, but it’s enough. There has to be a way. “

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

I don’t know why I was expecting to find happy coworkers for breakfast this morning.

When we join the rest of the cast and crew at the restaurant, it’s clear that we all haven’t slept much last night. The atmosphere is still heavy with the weight of our heightened emotions. Everyone still looks affected, likely at the idea that we’ll leave Berlin soon. Some just look hung over – we left early, after all; I imagine some of our friends have been partying hard after Jen and I left.

We both stand awkwardly at one end of the longest table, looking for a place to sit. We’re relatively late so there are no adjacent chairs left – until Francis spots us and gestures to Liam to switch to another place so we can sit together. Jen sits next to Francis and I take the newly vacant spot next to her, making a silent head nod to Liam to thank him for his generous act.

“How are you doing this morning?” Francis asks, before taking a bite of toast.

“We slept well,” Jen answers, looking at me for approval. I nod.

“Slept, huh?” Liam teases us, and Francis winks.

“Those beds are pretty comfy, you know,” Jen replies, taking a hold of the menu card. She lowers her voice, as if she was telling them a secret. “He sleeps like a rock as soon as he falls on them. So get your minds out of the gutter, perverts.”

I chuckle, and hide my face behind my menu card. The waiter comes to write down our orders and I stretch my arm to let it rest casually on the back of Jen’s chair.

“What are you doing next?” Francis asks.

“Sleeping the whole day away,” Jen answers straightaway, before sipping on her coffee cup and throwing me a defying glance. She obviously doesn’t intend to only sleep.

Francis chuckles, shaking his head.

“In the coming weeks, he means,” Nina joins in on our shared laughter.

“Oh,” Jen says, feigning to only just now grasp their meaning. She drops her hand on my thigh, and I stare at her expectantly. Will she talk about our vague projects? Francis, Nina, and some of our closest castmates already know about us, but we still keep most of our relationship private. It’s safer for now – at least as long as we’ll still be linked to other people publicly. The risk of information leaking is lesser the least people are in on the secret. “Not much. I’m working. He’s taking a vacation. So unfair.”

“Oh, yes. You’re gonna be working what, five, seven days? And then you’re gonna come with me take your long due vacation.” I turn my gaze towards Francis and Nina. “I’m taking my brother to visit Europe. We’ll mostly tour Germany, because he studied German in high school. But I want to visit Amsterdam too.”

“Of course you would,” Woody winks, and it’s only then that I realize he’s been there the whole time, sitting next to Liam and listening to us carefully. I look down with a sheepish smile as I acknowledge what he’s insinuating –it’s true that part of the reason I’m dead set on visiting Amsterdam is because I want to experiment for myself what it’s like to get high in public with it being totally legal. And surprisingly enough, given his genius angel façade, so does my little brother.

“Have you ever gone to Amsterdam?” I ask him, an eyebrow raised.

“Can’t say that I have, unfortunately.”

“You should totally come with us, you know. We’d have a blast.”

He shakes his head, a large smile brightening his face.

“Thanks but, Uncle Woody is missing his trilogy of goddesses way too much right now. So I’m going home in a couple of days.”

I nod. He went home for the last time right before we started shooting here in Berlin, so about a month ago, as he didn’t come with us to Cannes. I can imagine how eager he must be to see his wife and daughters – whenever I’m away from Jennifer, I miss her like crazy.

“And in July?” Nina asks, a weird glint in her eyes. I exchange a look with Jen.

“You really expect me to be able to answer this?” Jen says on a sarcastic tone. “I don’t even know what I’m doing on a daily basis, let alone in ten days.”

“I might have a little something for you guys,” Nina finally lets out, fishing something out of her handbag, a wide grin on her face. “Hold on... here they are.”

She fetches three envelopes out of the bag, and hands them to Jen, Liam and me. Puzzled, we all open our envelopes and my jaw falls to the floor.

“OH MY GOD!” Jen exclaims upon taking in the contents of the envelope. “VIP Coldplay tickets!”

“Take it as a wrapping gift,” Nina winks. I give her my most grateful smile.

“Thank you so much,” I finally let out when I’ve retrieved my voice. I keep staring at the tickets, excited and apprehensive all at once. This is an amazing opportunity, but at the same time, how are we gonna manage to attend the show without being recognized together? I look up at Liam, and realize that he might have to act as our buffer once again.

But in a way, it’s our chance to test the waters, so to speak. To try and see if we can once, just this once, act like a normal couple without having to face terrible consequences in the form of forced pap walks and impromptu Spain trips. If we’re photographed, or fans figure out we’re together, we can always use Liam’s presence to justify being together. Liam, our favorite third-wheel – we owe him so much already.

I look at Jennifer, and the excitement in her eyes must reflect mine pretty well.

“What do you think?” I ask in a gentle voice. She finally gives me a nice smile.

“I think... it’s time to make some plans.”

She leans into my ear.

“Because I fully intend to enjoy myself with my boyfriend that night.”

 

* * *

 

 

It takes me lots and lots of convincing to make Jen understand that I don’t mind spending a whole day inside.

In fact, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be today than in our suite, cuddled with her on the couch sharing snacks, watching TV, having a bottle of wine, and alternating between make out sessions, naps and full on sex. It’s almost as if we were recharging our batteries, in sight of what’s coming next.

We’ll be apart only for a week, but it already feels like it will last forever. We’ve been apart much longer in the past – especially when we started filming _Mockingjay_ and I wasn’t needed on set; Jen found it particularly hard to deal with, and if I’m being honest, I will admit that it took a toll on me as well – but we’d gotten used to spending whole days together. And we’re still figuring out how we’ll spend our summer.

At night, we decide to go to the restaurant located on the rooftop of the hotel, choosing to do so after dark to minimize our chances of being recognized. Jen puts on a big hat, which almost conceals her short blond hair. I hesitate to add a flannel shirt on top of my white t-shirt – I know fans often recognize my plaid shirts way before they even recognize my face – but in the end, I decide to put comfort first and take the risk. I’m about to add a baseball cap when Jen snatches the hat from my hands.

“Don’t. I want to see your hair.”

“People know that I cut and dyed my hair back. Did you see Nina’s pic?”

“Of course, I did,” she smiles. “She sent it to everybody.”

“Oh.”

“You look perfect that way.” She runs her hand through my short hair, before leaning in to steal a kiss. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah.”

The restaurant is almost empty when we make our way to the terrace. We choose to sit next to the edge of the rooftop, so we can enjoy the sight of Berlin by night to the fullest. The city’s atmosphere is joyful, with lights brightening the night everywhere and music blasting from farther into downtown. Once we’ve ordered our meals, I stare at Jen while she types something on her phone. She doesn’t realize I’m checking her out, a big smile on my face, until she’s sent her message. She looks up, answering my grin with one of her own.

I think she knows what I’m thinking.

I lift my hand and gently take her fingers over the table.

“Do you realize?” I ask in a low voice, before glancing around, just to make sure no one can hear us. “This is kind of our first real date. After over six months.”

“Took you long enough.”

I chuckle, looking down sheepishly.

“I had to make sure it was perfect.” I look back up, and the love I see in her eyes makes the big romantic in me melt.

“Well, it was worth it.”

She starts stroking the side of my hand with her thumb. I look at our entwined fingers and let out a deep sigh.

“I could get used to that, you know,” I say in a low voice. “Going out, having dinner on a terrace under the stars, just the two of us. But there’s no way we could ever do that in LA.”

“Why not? If I wear my wig...”

“People will recognize you anyway, Jen.”

“Ve taught me a few ways to do my makeup so I wouldn’t look too much like myself. Pretty sure between that and the wig, most people won’t know.”

“She did?” I raise an eyebrow. “And you’re handy enough to do it by yourself?”

“Idiot,” she giggles, playfully hitting my arm. “Of course I can do it by myself. The result is pretty impressive.”

“You mean I won’t recognize you either? If so, I’m not interested, thank you very much.”

“I doubt you’ll mind if it makes me look better.”

“It’s impossible that it could make you look better.” I smile. She feigns to be offended, which makes me laugh.“Just as good, maybe. But you’re always gorgeous hun.”

Her features quickly relax as she accepts the compliment. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. The playful glint in her clear eyes, the wickedness in her smile, the beautiful pattern of the freckles adorning her skin. She always looks incredibly attractive to me. And sometimes, I still wonder why she picked me, out of all the guys she could date.

“That’s better.”

I chuckle. I still stare at her, in awe.

“Come tour Europe with me. It would be so nice to do this together.”

She shakes her head and looks down sadly.

“I can’t push back that ADR session any longer. It’s been too long already. And they need to finish the movie soon, they want to screen it in festivals.”

“In festivals? Think you could make it to Toronto?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure.”

“ _Paradise Lost_ should be screening there. It would be so nice to get to go together.”

She looks away and quickly puts her hand away.

“What?” I ask, trying to get a glimpse of her expression. She still won’t look at me. “Jen?”

“I’m not sure it’d be that good of an idea, Josh.” Her voice is hollow, sad. I frown.

“Why?”

She finally looks at me, desperation lacing her features.

“Do I need to spell it out? You’re gonna have to show up with her everywhere, acting like a loving boyfriend. And I’m selfish. I can’t be there to witness it. I know how showmances work... I have quite the experience with it.”

Oh yeah. I was forgetting him.

“I don’t care. I’ll do like you did at the Oscars. Show up on the red carpet with her, and if I’m asked if there’s something between us, I’ll be as vague as possible. That should work.”

“I hope so.”

There’s a heavy silence. I keep thinking, trying to find a solution to spend as much time with her as possible. Because even though I wish I could go back in time and refuse to act the part with Claudia, the reality is that I’ll have to up it soon before we begin touring the festival circuit. And when I’m forced to spend time with her, not only won’t I have as much free time to spend with Jennifer, but it also will become too risky to show up with her in public.

I‘m about to grab her hand under the table when I catch sight of the waiter bringing us our plates. Hiding from him is useless in a way – all the staff members have signed concrete non-disclosure agreements with our teams so that they won’t say a word about whatever they could be privy to – but still. I’m uneasy knowing more people could be aware of our secret.

We mostly eat in silence, but the voice inside my head won’t quell itself. I keep looking and looking for a solution.

And then, as I replay our conversation in my head, I finally find it.

I’ve got a plan.


End file.
